Sexual Health Awareness Day

February 12th is the Sexual Health Awareness Day. As a GP who specialised in family planning this is a subject I deem to be hugely important.
 It doesn't feel like such a long time ago that I was a teenager, trying to make sense of the world of relationships, sex and society. Even now as 40 rapidly approaches I'm still trying to figure out some things.
 On this day of highlighting the importance of sexual health, I decided to write down what I would like my children to be aware of as they enter the age of sexual relationships.

1. As long as everyone is consenting and comfortable, no sexual activity is 'wrong'.

 We often follow a vicious cycle of shaming and low esteem. It's okay to have sex with someone, it's okay if that is in a long term relationship, it's okay to have a one night stand, it's okay to want to wait until marriage, it's okay to fancy someone of the same gender, it's okay to try anal, it's okay to have group sex. Whatever you want to do, if both you and your partner are of an age and ability to consent and you're not coercing or deceiving anyone, then go for it.

2. Women are not sexual objects.

 I have 4 boys, one of my hopes for them is not to treat women as objects. They are people with hopes, desires, and dreams just like you. She is not a slut for having sex, or frigid if she chooses not to. She can wear what she wants, when she wants and it is not an indicator of her willingness to have sex. Choose a life partner based on personality, not just looks, chose someone who will support you when you are down, cheer for you when things go well, care for you when life is risky, who makes you smile and laugh. And if that person is male or female, it doesn't matter, you are my sons and you have my heart forever.

3. Condoms, condoms, condoms.

 Carry them in your purse, pocket, car, have them in your room. When my boys are older I'm planning on having a big jar of them in the bathroom cupboard.
 It's not a sign of being a slut, it's a sign of being mature and aware of safety. Correct use of condoms will prevent most STIs and pregnancy.
 If you're not sure about correct use your local family planning clinic will happily show you. My key three points; remember to use it right from the start-don't think you can just put it on to orgasm, don't forget to pinch the air out of the tip before putting it on, and don't use any oil based lubricants with it.

4. Back up plans.

 Condoms are 96-97% effective at preventing pregnancy. If you really don't want to risk pregnancy then it's worth thinking about using the contraceptive pill, patch, ring. injection, implant or coil. All of these can be had from the family planning clinic and most GP practices do them as well. There are plenty to chose from to find the one which suits you best.
 If you think a condom has split, or you didn't use one in the heat of the moment (and we've all been there-believe me) then you can get the morning after pill from your GP, family planning clinic and also free of charge from many large pharmacy chains. The sooner you take it the more effective it is.

5. Get tested.

 The sexual health clinic at Charing Cross used to be accessed via a long glass corridor, jokingly referred to as the walk of shame by many.
 Now I feel more ashamed to have called it that.
 In a new relationship? Go together. Want peace of mind-go get tested. You don't have to have symptoms, and a lot of STIs don't have any symptoms at all.
 You can also do a self swab for chlamydia from the family planning or some GP surgeries.
 STIs show no judgement when they infect, it doesn't matter how nice someone is, what social class they are from, what the colour of their skin is, anyone can be infected without knowing.

5. Think about those less fortunate.

 In the UK we take our sexual health services for granted. Condoms are available easily and cheaply-you can get them free from clinics too. I hope this isn't a service we will lose in the destruction of the NHS services our government has pushed through.
 Now imagine being in a less aware country, where sexual taboo is rife, condoms are hard to get hold of and many refuse to use them.
 Support AIDS charities and sexual health charities. Support getting rid of the taboo of menstruation in India, support girls being educated and not married off in their early teens. If you watch porn make sure it is from a licensed, regulated company.

 And after all this? Enjoy your selves and have a happy and healthy sex life.