Valentine's is over, now what?

The endless pictures of flowers and chocolates are rapidly dropping down my newsfeed, the satirical anti-valentines posts are fading too, the dramatic sweep of red and pink around our shopping centres is rapidly changing to the baby yellows, greens and blues of Easter.
 Did you take a moment this Valentine's to appreciate your partner or loved ones?
 Not all of us are so lucky. One in 4 women and 1 in 6 men experience an incident of domestic abuse in the UK.

 So now the flowers and hearts are finished with for another year, what are the signs that you are in an abusive relationship?

 We've all seen the soap-land iconic battered wife scenarios, but physical violence is only one part of domestic abuse. Emotional, sexual and verbal abuse are all damaging.
 Does your partner constantly put you down, chipping away at your self esteem and making you feel that you are incapable of the simplest activity?
 Do they control where you go and who you see? Are they constantly checking up on where you are and accusing you of cheating?
 Do you find yourself avoiding certain topics or activities for fear they will cause an outburst?
 Do you feel threatened or trapped?
 Have they threatened to hurt you or your children if you leave?
 Do they withhold money or prevent you from working?
 Do they blame you? Tell you they wouldn't do it if you didn't stress them, blame it on alcohol or tiredness?
 Are you forced into having degrading or unwanted sex? Are you treated as a sexual object or belonging?

 Contrary to popular belief most people who suffer abuse are not weak, but constantly being told they deserve this treatment or have brought it upon themselves has a huge psychological effect.

 The first step to escaping an abusive relationship is recognising it, then you need to shake off the guilt and shame and get help. Women's Aid and Refuge both offer excellent advice on financial rights and ways of escaping legally and safely.

 If you suspect a friend is subject to abuse, try to find a way you can gently offer help when they are alone. You may find you are greeted with denial, or even anger, but simply letting them know you are there for them if they ever need it may help give them the reassurance that they are okay to leave.

www.womensaid.org.uk
www.refuge.org.uk